Poetry - Ricocheting on my lips by Malena Campos

How to write a story about someone you can’t breathe without, a story I was never able to write, a story that was you all this time.

I may just start strong swearing by the moon I am melancholic and soft when I want, I may also say that this will be days and long afternoons feeling the warm sunset on my back, and grass on my pencil, days and maybe months of writing.

I wish I saw you as a human, as flesh, a mouth and clear eyes, not as I see the sky,

not so lost in your pupils you have to say ‘hey’ in a loud tone to get my attention back again, not so empty and extremely full at the same time, not like you could hug me and rub my back, like you would die to see me one last time.

It comes along every time…love, I hate it, I despise it, I fall too fast for it.

The fair air in July died long ago I just enjoy these nights in New York and I’m in my hometown.

I hear in a low whisper “she is…” and I think to myself “I hate love” all the fear and grief that comes with it and though I’m lying cause I love you and I would die for you, I’m jealous of people that are with you, I might be a terrible person.

I dream about spending Christmas mornings with you, waking up together with a smile, I dream about running away to a better place holding hands, with horses and our cats, with a lover if both of us are gonna still be here when they disappear in our drawers, with the promise of forever or til we die, staring at the stars while the grass grows inside of us, I dream about you.

Sometimes about how bad this can hurt if you say “I don’t know you” or even harder if you don’t say “I want to tho”.

So when I meet you I would probably be like *in a lower teary voice says* “I feel safe here” and you will say thank you, I will come out hurt even tho I saw your sky-like eyes and felt your mom-exactly-like arms, knowing with my whole heart I meant nothing to you, feeling the pain tear coming out of my eyes and ricocheting on my lips, acknowledging you already forgot about me even tho I didn’t even said I love you back there, watching all the girls in the line waiting for you, smiling,

cause what else could I do?

Give you this

Give you a couple stories about someone you might have known and you might remember if you look hard enough.

New York

Malena Campos sings, plays guitar, and she’s currently having piano lessons every Thursday which she refers to as quite fun. She feels like she’s “letting the heart breathe” when writing and placing melodies, “it needs to be done otherwise I would have a meltdown every 2 secs”. Malena likes or LOVES cats and she’s a total hardcore swiftie.