.png)
Humans make promises they can’t keep,
my promise to you was that I’d wait for you,
even if at night, I couldn’t sleep.
I’m not holding it against you anymore,
I’m tired of hating you,
because I end up hating myself more.
I’m done telling myself that I don’t deserve you,
the “I don’t deserve you” that screams, “I wasn’t enough,”
I’m aware that loving you would’ve been tough.
I didn’t deserve you,
and I don’t mean this in my usual self degrading way,
“I deserved better” is what I’ve been meaning to say.
I deserve a love that has no boundaries,
where we drive all night while I look up at the California palm trees.
I deserve a love that holds me,
where I am so loved, that I never feel lonely.
I deserve a love that will fight,
where it’s us against the world,
where we’ve got each other’s back even if we’re not usually right.
I deserve the love I tried to give you every day I was in your life,
where you promise to stay even when there was no invite.
I promised I’d never give up,
I made a promise to you that I’d hold your hand and we’d make that jump.
but life’s not a sea and love’s not the air we breathe,
I can’t jump into wasting my life waiting for you if in the end,
if I come back up, your heart isn’t what i receive.
I no longer want your love,
If love exists and is for me, it’ll find me without a shove.
I’m letting you go,
you can run to her a thousand times more,
you can run to her over and over again even if your feet are sore.
you can run to her because I will not run to you like before,
I will not even sit here and watch you give her the love I would cherish and she will ignore.
So I am letting go,
letting go of our past so I can soar,
to live a life that will not bore,
to find all kinds of love and explore.
I’m done,
I no longer hold on.
